Duck Duck Cougar?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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