Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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