I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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