i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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