and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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