Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
