we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
