It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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