I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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