when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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