This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
