rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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