As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
