Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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