O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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