Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
