so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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