and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I won't apologize to a one balled man
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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