Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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