I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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