he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
