Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
