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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Guys should not giggle. Ever.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.

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• (353): View more from

  When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.

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