I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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