so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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