I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hippo gnu deer
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
