dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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