ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
sarcasm needs its own font
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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