i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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