Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
