I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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