After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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