So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
