This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
