i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
