it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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