Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
