I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I understand Curling. That high.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
