Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
