He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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