It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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