I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
