i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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