UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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