You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
