roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
