If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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