There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
