The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
