I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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