dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
