You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
