ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
