im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
