he wants to bone in the snuggie
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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