More tranny stories later!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
