Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize