I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
