Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
