Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
