weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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