Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
