If i come over, it means nothing
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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