i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize