It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
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Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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