oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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