a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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