um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
