They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you will always have a special place in my vag
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
